It's "that" time again.
The end of another year, when we seem to try to pause and reflect on the past year and consider what our plans or aspirations for the "new" year might be.
Reflecting on it this time, I'm kind of kicking myself. Why should we only do this sort of thing once a year? Isn't this the sort of thing one should be doing with some greater periodicity than once a year?
And of course what comes to mind is the whole 7 Habits™ or GTD™ shtick, where you build that sort of thing into your personal workflow. Always "sharpening the saw" and what-not. So that you can, you know, "get things done" or be "highly effective." Whatever that means.
It's all a matter of attention, and where we choose to place it, which is in large measure governed by our interior experience, which is a product of our habituated behaviors.
Basically, Twitter's business model.
I think I've learned that if you pay attention, life, the universe or everything, kind of give you clues about the course you're on, hints or suggestions for corrections.
There is more here than meets the eye. What that is, I can't say.
Anyway, I've been kind of unhappy lately. Which is odd, because I have nothing to be unhappy about. In the back of my mind, where that "still, small voice" exists that I should pay attention to, I know that it's because of where I've been placing my attention, and too much of that has been on Twitter.
I like the interactive part of it, the dopamine hits from likes and replies and retweets. But I don't like the endless stream of outrage. Who can be outraged that much of the time? It's exhausting. And it doesn't facilitate being the best sort of person I'd like to be. Snark is pretty easy, and I like to think I'm pretty good at it. But what does it do? Maybe a laugh at the absurdity now and then is healthy; but as a point of view, I think it leaves much to be desired.
I know that my interior experience got better when I got off Facebook. I got off Instagram at the same time because it was becoming more like Facebook. Of course, I just turned my attention to Twitter. In many ways, Twitter was a better experience than FB. I didn't have to be exposed to supposed friends' odious political views or willful ignorance. (I'm sure they would say the same about me.)
With Twitter, it was more of an echo-chamber. Certainly, a constant source of validation. It wasn't completely benign, misunderstandings and disagreements are inevitable in any sort of social discourse, and those were sometimes unpleasant.
So here we are, approaching the end of the year. Twitter appears to be run by an irresponsible egotist. I'm feeling a little unhappy. I get a good laugh from the toaster oven thing, and it seems to remind me that "there are no coincidences." (Don't @ me.)
We watched Hallelujah after the toaster oven singularity; and I listened to Leonard Cohen and the people who knew him, and I felt this metaphorical tap on my shoulder. "May I have your attention, please."
See, the thing is, once you give that still, small voice any of your attention, once you make its acquaintance, well, it never goes away. Not that there was ever an "away" it could have gone to. It's just that most of us have never been formally introduced, and so we're comfortable just ignoring it. Rather, we don't recognize that we're uncomfortable because we're ignoring it.
So I'm going to slide out of everyone's DMs at the end of the year. Try and figure out a more productive place to direct my attention, and I think I know where at least part of that is.
I don't know what that means overall. Habituated behavior is a powerful thing. Been there, done that. Over and over and over again.
I do know I'm not here to "get things done," or be a "highly effective person." I think I'm here to "make meaning."
So I'm going to try to work on that.
I'll be here in the 'chuck hole too. Perhaps that's part of it. I'll keep you posted.