Garret wonders about the appeal of military-style "bootcamps" as a form of male self-improvement.

Not speaking to Garret directly, but it's not such a mystery. We live in a society where there is little guidance about "meaning."

42 isn't such a helpful answer, it turns out.

Bootcamp is designed to take an individual and strip away much of what makes them "selfish" or "self-centered." To diminish the interior demands of the self, and to attend to another voice, the unit leader. The leader tries to shape the individuals into a team, the unit, where the goal, the objective, is the mission. Why you're here.

This works for teams with specific goals or missions. Sports and the military. Other occupations that involve close cooperation of highly trained individuals to achieve difficult objectives. It can instill close camaraderie, a sense of trust or faith in their fellow teammates. A relationship experience that people seldom experience apart from an intimate partner or an especially close friend.

This is absent in day-to-day life for most people. "The mission," is mostly to get through another day. Keep your job. Pay your rent. Put food on the table. Sit in traffic. Do it again, and again, and again...

For the rest of your life.

The mission is never "accomplished." You're not part of a "team." If you're lucky, maybe you have a close, functional relationship with a spouse or partner, maybe your kids, or a good dog.

There's no leader, no commander telling you what your mission is. Why it matters. What makes it worth the cost.

And there's nobody telling you how you're doing.

There's just that inner voice, an unreliable narrator, incessantly asking, "Is this it? Is this all there is?" Or demanding a new car, a new spouse, more money, a faster computer, a cooler camera. Or lying to you, "It'll get better when..." Your boss retires. You leave your wife. Your elderly parent dies.

(Pro tip: "It" never gets better until you do.)

So, yeah, a few weeks of playing soldier can offer some relief from that nagging inner voice. You come away with "an experience." Maybe you've assimilated some "lessons," about the value of teamwork.

But none of that stuff teaches you about meaning. What it is what matters. Why it matters.

And you return to a society that sends you messages from the void. Buy more stuff. Vote for this party. Hate those people. It's the water we swim in. I'm in here too.

Yeah, I understand the appeal of military style "bootcamps."

Along with all the other crises facing this civilization, perhaps the greatest is the absence of meaning.

We have lost the plot.

Life is meaningless. Your "mission" is to make meaning.

Not make yourself rich. Not make yourself beautiful, popular, more "fit," more "successful." Not to have more or better stuff than your neighbor.

Make your life mean something. And meaning is contingent. It only exists in the context of "others." Specifically, service to others. It may be just listening to someone sometime. It may be a kind word. It may be picking up trash along the road. Who knows? Pay attention for the opportunity, which means not paying so much attention to that nagging inner voice.

But don't do it looking for a reward. A "medal." You'll be disappointed. The rewards are all internal, and if you're not finding them, then you're doing it wrong.

'Cause it ain't about you, maggot!

Which is what happens in sports teams, and military units, where you're serving your teammates, your shipmates, your squad members. In a larger context, you want to believe you're "serving your country." You hope your country is worthy of your service. That your service means something.

Make your life mean something to the people around you. Do your best. Always interrogate what your "best" is. But don't get hung up on the results. Just keep doing your best. That's the only thing you're responsible for, but always be kind to yourself too.

Maybe "bootcamp" is better than drinking, or other forms of substance abuse. But it's a temporary reprieve at best. Because the emptiness remains, and the only thing that can fill it is some kind of meaning.

We are all in this together. Everything we "have" can be taken from us. Ultimately, it will be.

All we ever really have are these moments to live, and each other.

All of us.

(Best blog post I could come up with. I'm an authority on nothing. I make all this shit up. You're strongly encouraged to do your own thinking.)

Originally posted at Nice Marmot 18:03 Saturday, 30 March 2024