Hygiene... One of those words that, the longer you look at it, the less you think it's spelled right.

I'd write, "I digress," but I haven't even started!

I'm going to meta-comment my way right out of this blog post...

Moving on...

If you want to get a good night's sleep, I do not recommend watching Season 2, Episode 3 of Luther, and then go to lock your front door before retiring for the evening, only to discover fire and rescue outside with a bunch of sheriff's office vehicles.

I didn't see the cop cars initially, just fire and rescue. I live in an over-55 community, so it's not terribly unusual and I figured a neighbor was having a medical emergency.

About the same time I see the lights from the rescue vehicles, Mitzi's phone rings, and she's telling me "Tracy says there's a kid lost in the woods behind the house."

Mitzi has a daughter named Tracy who lives in California who sometimes calls after 9, and so my response is, "How does Tracy know what's going on behind our house?"

We also have a neighbor across the street named Tracy who, heretofore, hasn't called after 9. Mitzi squared me away. Duh.

So, back to the screened enclosure to assess the situation. Mitzi puts Tracy on speaker and I get some part of the story.

Apparently, there was some young man, around 20, who was upset in some way, who kind of got himself "lost in the woods," and the police were called. I don't know if this individual was a relative of someone who lives in the neighborhood, or any idea of how he came to be in the preserve behind our house, which, as I've mentioned before, is a swamp!

Cops are two houses down at the fence adjacent to the preserve. It's an aluminum, spaced-picket kind of fence. Can't keep much out, but might deter the feral pigs. I don't know, we don't have one. I hear a cop yell, "You gotta come to us, we can't get to you!"

And I'm wondering if this kid is thinking, "If they can't get to me, how am I supposed to get to them?"


I don't know what these guys know about what's behind us. They have a drone up, but it's dark. There's moonlight so maybe they can see the reflections of the water. So I wander down like any busybody, and mention this to one of the deputies, and that there's no fence behind our house. I didn't mention the unfortunate choice of words.

I hear what I think is the kid yelling something unintelligible. I go back to consult with Mitzi.

This seems like a bit of a clusterfuck. I'm guessing these guys don't want to get wet, and there's no way you're going into that swamp without getting wet. The kid has apparently already told them he's soaked and unhappy about all the water.

Like a dumbass, I figure I'll just go put my Timberlands on, some long pants and a long-sleeved shirt because of the mosquitoes. and wade out into the swamp with a light and see if I can get the kid to come to me. I'm hoping the cotton mouths and gators are as reluctant to encounter me as I am them. I know the Timberlands aren't going to keep my feet dry, but at least nothing's going to bite my ankles.

So I get dressed, put a big battery on my Makita portable worklight and go down and tell the cop, I'm just gonna wade out into the water behind the house and see if he can see me, let's go get this kid. Deputy says, no. They've decided to get him to walk to the trail on the other side of the water. Which kind of made sense. We've hiked off the trail a bit when we first moved here. To see how close we could get to the house. We got to the water. There are fire trails back there, and evidence of past burns, which is a little disturbing, so maybe that'll be easier for all concerned.

So I head back home and watch as all the vehicles are loading up and leaving. I'm thinking maybe they got the kid. I change out of my dumbass ensemble and get ready for bed. I take another look out back before turning out the lights, and the drone's back up behind the house.

Maybe they haven't got him.

Anyway, I go to bed.

Not exactly a "sweet dreams" situation, if you know what I mean.

Originally posted at Nice Marmot 05:53 Sunday, 30 July 2023